Yep, still here.
STILL unemployed because the world hates me.
No, because I refuse to work at a place that does not require at least one of my degrees. I am doing the stubborn thing for my parents. They spent waaaay too much money on my college life for me to at least TRY and get a job that will pay me more then my minivan cost me.
My lawyer thinks I will be officially divorced by the end of the year.
Taxes next year will suckity-suck.
Back to the job thing. I have sooo many leads that I want to bang my head against the my new white couch pillow (my biggest splurge in the past few months). Ten dollars. It is pretty.
I am trying to find a job in the education realm which is huge. I can go the public school route. I can go the Lutheran school route. I can go the higher ed route. I would be perfectly pleased and happy to travel any route.
This morning I got a little stick in the arm to test me for TB. I need a TB test to be a substitute teacher in the public schools. Last week I paid $50 for my subbing license. So, if all else fails (read: the HR people deposit my resume in the trash) then I will be a substitute teacher.
And, hopefully within a year's time I will have something more permanent.
My kids are great. My mind is in a great place. My emotions are balanced. I have forgiven. And will continue to forgive, but forgiveness is not a one stop shop.
A few months ago my heart was ripped out and thrown out in the front lawn for everyone to see. Each morning I got up and grabbed my heart and allowed it to do whatever it felt like. Cry, scream, listen to Coldplay on repeat. (Saw them in concert last week!) Eventually, my heart decided the front lawn was getting old. It was tired of passersby giving it that look that said wow, your life sucks, sorry can't help. My heart came back inside and declared that from now on liars will be NOT be tolerated. Gawkers and those who judge will be dismissed easily.
And. AND, I will wear my faith on my sleeve, because I can.
My kids will be okay, because I am one tough woman and will not let a little thing called divorce make them feel less important than the girl or boy with an intact family.
If something or someone does not bring peace in my life...sorry but I have very little space for those that don't bring peace in my life.
Finally, my days will be filled with laughter from here on out with a few tears to balance things out.
Because, I can.
broken heart
Time to get moving soon and get the kids ready for swimming.
I am worn out. A tad. Just finished last night my 6-week online course to fulfill a continuing ed credit for my teaching degree. It had been 4 years or so since I took a college grad course. Hard to believe at one point I was super grad school woman. I took courses and graduated with degrees like my life depended on it. Perhaps it does.
I know it does.
I am floundering now though. I need a job. I am searching and trying, but feel a deep floundering sense to this task of finding a job.
I need a job, but I want "the job". The job that will fulfill my calling. Blah blah.
But, truth. Not quite sure what my calling is right now.
My calling was mom for 4 years, until my soon-to-be-ex husband used my calling as a license for freedom.
I suppose my calling right now is to heal my broken heart. Isn't that horrible to say? I have an actual, metaphorically, broken heart. As I walked alone yesterday soaking in sun and miles, I could feel the split. It is a feeling I don't like, but I can't magically make it go away.
Ready for the good life.
Two super duper friends came over today for food, talk, and overall supportive fun. Kella has a foodie blog that makes my mouth water every time I read it. Jenna is a fantastic photojournalist.
I am the soon-to-be divorced one with a good attitude and two great kids.
I had a job interview on Friday and was asked to interview a second time next week. My fingers are crossed, because I think I would be perfect for the job.
I have my moments, but for the most part life is better. I don't regret my decision to pursue divorce at all. Not even for a teeny tiny second.
I wish I could just barf all the nonsense of my husband on this blog, but that is not cool. Or a good idea.
But, let us just say I am ready for the good life.
Update: Check.
Job hunting. Check.
Taking online course. Check.
Starting a new diet to lose that last bit of pregnancy belly fat. Check.
And, wow it actually makes me not want to drink wine or soda. That is a crazy voodoo diet I tell ya.
Making sure my self-esteem stays high. Check.
Because nothing knocks it down faster than job hunting, taking an online course, and thinking you need to lose belly fat.
Home again jiggity jog
Finally, the Respondent moved out my home. Well, our home technically, but I am one that kept the inside and outside looking livable and clean. If all the sticks I pick up are equal to a dollar, I would be a millionaire.
So, the kids and I are back home safe and sound.
What is that strange smell? Cat piss? In the linen closet?
Filed
The divorce papers have been filed by me. Waiting for the "Respondent" to be served.
Oh, yes. I will fill in the gaps. But, it is good to be back at my "home" blog. Blogversary is a dumb name, mind you. I get that. But, it is my home blog.
